I had something neat happen this morning. You might not think it is all that neat when I explain it, but I think it was really cool.
Let me set the stage first. Recently, I have been talking about getting a motorcycle again. I bought one after my parents died and had it for a couple of years. I ended up getting rid of it while I was in Chesapeake, VA because we didn't want to haul it back to Colorado. As I talked with my wife about getting one initially she asked me to wait until she got a job. I moped a little, but pressed on. THEN, Nancy got a job at the school. Right away I decided it was time to get a bike. Nancy asked me to wait until she knew what she was going to get paid. I moped some more. I had 2 or 3 days of moping and then in the middle of worship one day God really convicted me that I needed to quit throwing a fit because I wasn't getting my way right away. I shared in a sermon when talking about repentance that God had convicted me to repent of my mopiness. I needed to get over the idea that a bike would make me happy. What some people heard me say was I felt like God didn't want me to have a bike, but what I was trying to say was the bike wasn't the thing God was trying to teach me. He had to be enough for me either way.
So, after Nancy and I sat down and went over the numbers of our finances she said she was okay with me getting a bike. I didn't go right out and get one though. It was important to me to wait until Nancy was comfortable with it. Nancy said she would prefer we didn't add to our monthly payments so we could work on debt reduction. I asked her if I could sell the Durango and get something that reduced the monthly payment by what the bike would cost if she would be okay with that. She said sure. I went out and sold the Durango and got a car that saved us about $150 a month in payment and gas and the car has 40,000 less miles than the Durango had. And then I went out and got my bike.
Now, back to this morning. A friend of mine called up and asked if he could come in and talk with me. I said sure and he shot over to the office. He walked in and said, "Let me start by saying I love you." I knew something rough was coming. And then he expressed how he was concerned because from his perspective I had said God was leading me to not buy a bike and I did it anyway. It really bothered him, his wife, some other family members and a few friends. He asked me, very kindly, if I could explain to him what was going on. We sat and talked for about 20 minutes with him asking me some questions and me givng my honest response. His concern was 1) that I had disobeyed God, 2) that I had taken a knock on my leadership and 3) that maybe I had done something to make life hard for my wife. We had a great conversation. I explained what I thought and felt and that I could see how some people whould struggle with my decision. He said thanks and we parted ways.
See, the reason I think this was such a neat thing is that I have a friend who loves me enough to confront me if he thinks I am in the wrong. And when he did it he didn't do it in a way that was rude or forceful or judgmental. He came in and explained his concern and then listened. I am sure we don't see it 100% eye to eye, but we are both okay with each other. I have a lot more respect for him because I know he will talk to me instead of about me. I know that he loves me more than he loves my happiness and he will do what is best for The Oasis, me and my family.
Being a person in leadership you do get scrutinized more. You can throw a fit and say no one has the right or you can understand that other people are watching and listening and you need to be careful how you live. In hindsight, the wrong I committed was not in getting the bike or not getting the bike, but in how I presented the idea and what it appeared like to others. As a young leader I have to remember when I share personal struggles I am inviting others in to help me overcome them. If someone tries to hold me accountable and I get irritated or insolent with them I am missing a great opportunity. What a gift to have friends who will do the dirty work to help me keep my life and leadership effective.
Friend (you know who you are) thank you for loving Jesus' will for my life enough to confront me and listen to me. Thank you for doing what was difficult to protect The Oasis, my family and me. I love you for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment