FAITH

I was talking with a few people the other day about hope and hurt and how to live when you do not feel something. Specifically, how do you forgive yourself so God can forgive you and how do you let someone else love you when you have trouble loving yourself. The answer we came to was: You don't. You let God love you even if you cannot. You let God forgive you even if you cannot forgive yourself. We need to learn to live in God's truth whether we feel it or not.

So many people think faith is believing what you understand. I think real faith is believing even when you do not understand. To trust God when it doesn't make sense is real faith. To say you do not understand how this hurt can turn out for good and yet to still follow God is the kind of faith God is looking for.

I hope you can have enough faith to believe God today. A faith that goes beyond what you feel and know.

A Leadership Lesson from a Motorcycle

I had something neat happen this morning. You might not think it is all that neat when I explain it, but I think it was really cool.

Let me set the stage first. Recently, I have been talking about getting a motorcycle again. I bought one after my parents died and had it for a couple of years. I ended up getting rid of it while I was in Chesapeake, VA because we didn't want to haul it back to Colorado. As I talked with my wife about getting one initially she asked me to wait until she got a job. I moped a little, but pressed on. THEN, Nancy got a job at the school. Right away I decided it was time to get a bike. Nancy asked me to wait until she knew what she was going to get paid. I moped some more. I had 2 or 3 days of moping and then in the middle of worship one day God really convicted me that I needed to quit throwing a fit because I wasn't getting my way right away. I shared in a sermon when talking about repentance that God had convicted me to repent of my mopiness. I needed to get over the idea that a bike would make me happy. What some people heard me say was I felt like God didn't want me to have a bike, but what I was trying to say was the bike wasn't the thing God was trying to teach me. He had to be enough for me either way.

So, after Nancy and I sat down and went over the numbers of our finances she said she was okay with me getting a bike. I didn't go right out and get one though. It was important to me to wait until Nancy was comfortable with it. Nancy said she would prefer we didn't add to our monthly payments so we could work on debt reduction. I asked her if I could sell the Durango and get something that reduced the monthly payment by what the bike would cost if she would be okay with that. She said sure. I went out and sold the Durango and got a car that saved us about $150 a month in payment and gas and the car has 40,000 less miles than the Durango had. And then I went out and got my bike.

Now, back to this morning. A friend of mine called up and asked if he could come in and talk with me. I said sure and he shot over to the office. He walked in and said, "Let me start by saying I love you." I knew something rough was coming. And then he expressed how he was concerned because from his perspective I had said God was leading me to not buy a bike and I did it anyway. It really bothered him, his wife, some other family members and a few friends. He asked me, very kindly, if I could explain to him what was going on. We sat and talked for about 20 minutes with him asking me some questions and me givng my honest response. His concern was 1) that I had disobeyed God, 2) that I had taken a knock on my leadership and 3) that maybe I had done something to make life hard for my wife. We had a great conversation. I explained what I thought and felt and that I could see how some people whould struggle with my decision. He said thanks and we parted ways.

See, the reason I think this was such a neat thing is that I have a friend who loves me enough to confront me if he thinks I am in the wrong. And when he did it he didn't do it in a way that was rude or forceful or judgmental. He came in and explained his concern and then listened. I am sure we don't see it 100% eye to eye, but we are both okay with each other. I have a lot more respect for him because I know he will talk to me instead of about me. I know that he loves me more than he loves my happiness and he will do what is best for The Oasis, me and my family.

Being a person in leadership you do get scrutinized more. You can throw a fit and say no one has the right or you can understand that other people are watching and listening and you need to be careful how you live. In hindsight, the wrong I committed was not in getting the bike or not getting the bike, but in how I presented the idea and what it appeared like to others. As a young leader I have to remember when I share personal struggles I am inviting others in to help me overcome them. If someone tries to hold me accountable and I get irritated or insolent with them I am missing a great opportunity. What a gift to have friends who will do the dirty work to help me keep my life and leadership effective.

Friend (you know who you are) thank you for loving Jesus' will for my life enough to confront me and listen to me. Thank you for doing what was difficult to protect The Oasis, my family and me. I love you for it.

Caleb Garnder Update

I just thought you guys would want to know about Caleb. I talked to Shawn yesterday via Skype (free computer phone thing). He was as tickled as a dad can be. He said when he got back from Mozambique where he was getting things settled so they could fly back to America he found Caleb laughing, making eye contact, eating and a lot closer to himself. He said he got to tickle him and listen to him giggle. Shawn and Sarah are ecstatic. They know they are still on the road to recovery, but as Shawn said, "My baby boy is back."

Shawn and Sarah should be back in the US sometime in the next couple of weeks. Their plan is to stay for several months so Caleb can rebuild his immune system. They are trying to decide what their next step is after that. Please pray for wisdom and opportunity for the Gardners.

PS - If anyone has the emails I have been sending I would love a copy of them so I can make a journal of the whole experience for Shawn and Sarah. It is an incredible story that God is writing.

Letting your always change to God's ALWAYS

I love reading the Psalms because they are so honest. I came across Psalm 22 today. As I read it I had several of my friends who are dealing with post-combat issues in mind. The whole Psalm talks about suffering and even begins by asking where God is at. But sprinkled throughout are verses like this:

3Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;

19But you, O Lord, be not far off; O my Strength, come quickly to help me.

24...he has not hidden his face from him but has LISTENED to his cry for help.

In verse 3 I see David fighting the fear and frustration by simply remembering what God has already done. Remembering is a healthy weapon against fear, depression and frustration. Nothing is a hopeless cause when you look at what did in other hopeless causes.

I see David dealing with the feeling of giving in when he reminds himself that God is his strength.

He remembers that while it feels dark and lonely God always hears, ALWAYS!

I was talking with some of my combat vet friends recently and one of them said, "It will always be this way. It is never going to get better." And I know that he really feels that way. It isn't that he doesn't believe in God or love Him. It just feels like it will never change. I see David crying out to those guys and saying, "Your always isn't God's ALWAYS. God ALWAYS changes things. God ALWAYS hears. God ALWAYS cares. God ALWAYS redeems. God ALWAYS restores."

If I could tell you one thing today it would be to listen to and look for God's ALWAYS when yours is too much to bear.

Listening

I used this quote recently for a message about what you need to do when you come to faith in Jesus to ensure you grow.

"Value your listening and reading time at roughly ten times your talking time. This will assure you that you are on a course of continuous learning and self-improvement."
Gerald McGinnis, President and CEO of Respironics, Inc.

It struck me as really true. If the early years of my faith had been spent listening instead of talking I bet I would have become a lot stronger Christian. I wonder would would happen if we all decided to listen more? I bet the Church would become exactly what God has always hoped for.

Here's to those who will listen more this week as they seek to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Sorry it has been a while

I just got back from a trip to South Africa to visit my friends, Shawn and Sarah Gardner. Shawn and Sarah have 3 kids - Ben, Olivia and Caleb. Caleb got critically ill while in Nampula, Mozambique where Shawn and Sarah live and minister. Caleb had to be medivaced from Mozambique to Johannesburg, South Africa for medical treatment. When he first arrived there the doctors were not sure if Caleb was going to live. In the midst of that news I felt like God was putting it on my heart to go and be with Shawn and Sarah. I didn't really have an agenda, I just felt like I needed to go be family to them. As I expressed this to a friend, Jason, he said he would like to do the same. I was talking to the men who are on my management team later that day and they said, "Ask God. Make your desire known to the people you know and see what God does." I thought that was a great idea. Within 4 hours I had collected enough to pay for my ticket and to help Jason get his ticket so we could both travel to see the Gardners. That was on a Thursday and by Tuesday we were flying to South Africa.

First lesson - When you feel something deep inside and you do not know if it is God or just a thought do something that lets God reveal Himself. If I had not made my desire to go known my friends would not have been able to minister to me, Jason and the Gardners the way they did.

Second lesson - Make a commitment to pour yourself into others in Christian community and you will never be alone. I was able to do something I was completely incapable of doing because of the people who are in my life. By committing to other people and trying to develop community with them I was allowed to do something incredible through them. They became the hands and feet and the resources that sent me.

Third lesson - Bring pillow on a 19 hour flight from Atlanta to Johannesburg.

When we first got to South Africa Caleb was improving some, but the new concern was that he was going to be brain damaged, or even brain dead because of the lack of oxygen he experienced for a time in Mozambique. Shawn and Sarah tried hard to wrap their minds around what that would mean. At times they thought too much, at times they were able to rest in the arms of a loving Father and at times it was all just too overwhelming. We were able to sit with Shawn and Sarah and talk about grief and joy and the impossibilities that God brings. I was able to share the comfort God brought o me when my parents died. We were able to talk about sometimes thinking less. We talked about how healthy honest grief can be and how our Father in Heaven hurts with us. Sometimes tears of hurting can begin healing.

Fourth lesson - Sometimes faith is not trying to understand all of the possibilities, but simply trusting in the God of the impossible. Shawn and Sarah showed a tremendous level of faith when they were able to say no matter what the outcome was, they knew God was not only with them, but for them and for Caleb. Faith is not believing everything will work out, but that God is good enough to make up the difference when we just don't see it.

The last email I got from Africa was from Pam, Sarah's mom. This is what she wrote: Yesterday I spent 8 hours with Caleb Allen and he giggled when I shook a rattle for him, kicked out his little feet as fast as he could, giggling and smiling. Some involuntary I'm sure, but it sure warms the heart of a tired grandma.

Shawn, Sarah, Pam, all of us are witnessing God do an incredible thing. It is not just in healing Caleb, but in what others have seen through these circumstances. One lady wrote how she could finally trust God completely with her kids as she has watched the Gardners go through this and read their responses. Some have said they finally understand that Christianity is not religion but community that not only goes, but sends others thousands of miles away to be the loving embrace of God. Some are relearning how simple faith really is. And some of us are just reminded that the little joys, like feet that wiggle, are the more important things in life anyway.

I want to thank all of you who have been a part of this moving of God. Thank you to those who have prayed. Thank yout o those who have given to send others. Thank you for letting your own soul be drawn into the story that God is writing.

I thank you God for such a beautiful idea called the Church. May we remember who you made Her and us to be and may we make a new commitment to her today.